Earlier this week I came across an article that has inspired me to change my life. I am going to live (or try really hard!) in a VENT-FREE zone!! This means that I can no longer complain about things. If something is bothering me, rather than vocalize my frustration I will write it down. I will also journal a solution to the problem. The concept is that I will learn to A- solve my problems or B- let them go.
*excerpts from the article*
"venting fast" -
It's not for the fainthearted, but it's a powerful way to create a better life.
What is a venting fast?
-stop complaining about anything, to anybody
-(on paper) describe what is bothering you
-think of what you can do to change the situation
-DO IT...divorce the man, cuss in-front of your fundamentalist sister, put off lunching with the passive-aggressive "friend" until the end of time
This fast requires will power, but it also requires courage.
You have three options when dealing with stress...
1 - Explosion
2 - Venting
3 - Harnessing the power of frustration
Regina is a mexican-American whose white-racist parents-in-law treated her abominably. She complained about this to her husband every day. When I asked her why she talked to her husband, she said she was starting an information chain: She would force him to force his parents to change. How long had Regina employed this strategy? Twenty years...and the effect to date? NADA.
When Regina stopped complaining about her in-laws, her emotional steam pressure quickly rendered her unable to tolerate their company. Once day, when her father-in-law made a racist comment, Regina stood up and took a cab home. She was terrified, but said she had to do something. The ensuring argument between her husband and his parents was the beginning of overdue but impressive change. Faced with the choice of being respectful or losing their son, the bigots began showing respect.
Make no mistake, this fast is risky. You'll only have two choices when dealing with emotional buildup: explosion or positive action. The first will damage you, your relationships, and your life. The second will fundamentally alter the status quo.
Prepare to find this terrifying.
If you try a venting fast and survive, you may find yourself heading in a new, exciting direction. You may even decide to commit to an entire life without complaining. "I have a rule, I am not allowed to white about anything I can change. And since I can always change my attitude, I don't expect to find a really hopeless situation in this lifetime."
Today was my first day of trying this and I resolved three issues that normally I would have "vented" to a friend about. I am learning to be active in my life and not be just an observer. It isn't easy, and any of you who think that it is need to try it. I invite all of you to just try this for ONE day.
I've recently discovered that I have changed. I use to be the person to do nice things for my friends and family out of complete randomness and selflessness. Now, I barely make time for my friends. I want the old me back, and this is a step I have taken to move my life back in that direction!
My second change comes in my newest and most important TO-DO list! My goal is to have a list of things to complete this month, and hopefully each month, to help others...and to give back to others. Please feel free to make suggestions to add to my list, and ultimately the richness of my life.
If I want greatness to come into my life, I need to start putting greatness out. This is something I am determined to do...
*if any of you would like the entire article, please let me know...I think it is a great way to look at life and our "problems".