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What started out as a site to update on our daughter's cancer has thankfully grown into a site to update on our beautiful family of four. Enjoy our journey...

Monday, November 09, 2009

lost memories

A fun perk of having a great friend have a baby the
same time as you is sharing in all the things that the kids are doing! Another fun perk is when you have the opposite babies at the same time. I have a friend who has a 1 year old boy and a 3 month old girl. So...we swap the kids' clothes to share, it is great :-)

I was going through clothes last night for miss sadie and got to the 6-9 month tote. Grrr, what a weird thing to make a person remember things! I was about half way through the tote when I saw an adorable green and white shamrock dress. This is the dress that Charli wore down to children's the day we were admitted. All of a sudden each outfit was marked by some kind of memory surrounding the hospital, treatments, tests, etc. I am so glad these clothes will be making far better memories on Sadie!

It is amazing to me how much I forget, and how much I remember. Also amazing to me is how I can realize things that I forgot...if that makes any sense.

Another thing that gets me, is after all of this time, it can still occupy so much of my life and my heart. is a lifetime membership - yet at the same time I didn't think the feelings would always feel so fresh at random times. I know that some of you reading, sadly, know what I mean. And, others of you think I am nuts. I wish there was a way I could adequately put it into words, I guess kind of like "husker nation" for some of us...this is also just 'in my blood' now.

We were not able to attend Landon's benefit this past weekend, broke my heart. Charli was running a fever on Thursday and Friday morning and I just felt it was irresponsible to take her even a few days later. I know for a fact that
had the tables been turned I would not have wanted anyone doing that to us! I so badly wanted to be there to support Courtney the way she was there to support me at Charli's benefit, but I know she had a lot of loving arms to hold her up that day!! Still so weird that she is going through this now too...I mean seriously does this kind of thing EVER happen. We are like a BAD lifetime movie! But hey...any lifetime movie makers out there, if you pay us enough we could fund some major research if you give us a movie deal ;-). Just sayin'.


Anonymous said...

We know you wanted to be there, and you WERE there in spirit! The benefit brought back so many memories of my trip out to Columbus for the first time to meet you! You're support, even from a distance, is not something I can put into words. Your friendship means the world to me! I love this post, and the picture (which made me cry--thanks!!)

The Hudcaps said...

Brenda, you are such as inspriation. Some memories just don't seem like you can get away from them and some lifetime memberships stink. I know you would have wanted to be at the dinner for your friends but know that your presence is felt in all that you do.