I am not sure what to say today! I have so many emotions running, it is hard to tell what should be shared with others - and what I should keep to myself because they will pass in a few hours!!!
There are still a few hours out of every day that I find myself sitting, thinking "why is this happening". But I later find myself thinking that is so selfish when I know it could be so much worse. I know that pain and heartache are all relative to what you have had to go through...and yet everyone has had their heart broken at some point. What breaks my heart might not put a dent in someone else’s...
Each night we give Charli an injection of something to help her through her chemo. It seems a bit unreal when I look back on it...poking my 8 month old daughter. Not something I thought I would ever have to do!
Charli has had two really good days this week - how lucky are we! We have seen her personality change so much over the past few days...we can tell she is starting to feel better already. Her smiles can bring tears to a stranger’s eye and her laugh can brighten anyone’s day - and she is my baby! How lucky am I to get to see that every day?!!
I know I have said this to several of you already - but I am going to say it again. Being a mom of a baby who has cancer is probably one of the most challenging things I have had to do in my life...and I hope it is the biggest challenge I ever face. I feel like I have been given a life long membership to a club that I never wanted to join...but now that I am here I feel the need to educate as many people about it as I can. Before Charli was diagnosed I didn't have a clue how many families were affected by childhood cancer...to be honest I didn't know anything about it.
Okay…enough of the pity-party! My beautiful baby girl is sleeping in her crib as I type! She has been doing great since the chemo started (everyone knock on wood!) and we can only continue to pray for the best! I will close with my newest and most favorite quote…
"Deep inside us, we have a spirit of energy and determination, a spirit that refuses to be broken - and we call this hope. Even when life’s challenges overwhelm us our hope inspires us to rise to new heights."