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What started out as a site to update on our daughter's cancer has thankfully grown into a site to update on our beautiful family of four. Enjoy our journey...

Thursday, March 29, 2007

update...

I am not sure what to say today! I have so many emotions running, it is hard to tell what should be shared with others - and what I should keep to myself because they will pass in a few hours!!!

There are still a few hours out of every day that I find myself sitting, thinking "why is this happening". But I later find myself thinking that is so selfish when I know it could be so much worse. I know that pain and heartache are all relative to what you have had to go through...and yet everyone has had their heart broken at some point. What breaks my heart might not put a dent in someone else’s...

Each night we give Charli an injection of something to help her through her chemo. It seems a bit unreal when I look back on it...poking my 8 month old daughter. Not something I thought I would ever have to do!

Charli has had two really good days this week - how lucky are we! We have seen her personality change so much over the past few days...we can tell she is starting to feel better already. Her smiles can bring tears to a stranger’s eye and her laugh can brighten anyone’s day - and she is my baby! How lucky am I to get to see that every day?!!

I know I have said this to several of you already - but I am going to say it again. Being a mom of a baby who has cancer is probably one of the most challenging things I have had to do in my life...and I hope it is the biggest challenge I ever face. I feel like I have been given a life long membership to a club that I never wanted to join...but now that I am here I feel the need to educate as many people about it as I can. Before Charli was diagnosed I didn't have a clue how many families were affected by childhood cancer...to be honest I didn't know anything about it.

Okay…enough of the pity-party! My beautiful baby girl is sleeping in her crib as I type! She has been doing great since the chemo started (everyone knock on wood!) and we can only continue to pray for the best! I will close with my newest and most favorite quote…

"Deep inside us, we have a spirit of energy and determination, a spirit that refuses to be broken - and we call this hope. Even when life’s challenges overwhelm us our hope inspires us to rise to new heights."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brenda-you are such a strong person and you are doing great!! It's completelty normal to have ups and downs and highs and lows. It's times like this that we really can see what kind of inner strength we all have, and you my dear have a lot of it. Charli is beautiful and you and Chad have so much to be thankful for. Charli is one special child and is also very lucky to have such loving, caring parents! Lots of love to you. *Hugs* -Courtney

Michelle Ugarte said...

Brenda, you amaze me at how much alike we are!! =)

The shots you give her are most likely called Neupogen. I remember having to hold down Isabella while she got the shot. Or trying to make her look away. The doctors and nurses were nice in the fact that they gave us a prescription for the numbing cream. That helped out quite a bit.

Charli sounds a lot like Isabella... you couldn't even tell that she was sick. She was picky with her food, but other than that she was a normal toddler. These kids always amaze me that they are able to take on so much. =)

Make sure to update us with some pictures!! =)

Anonymous said...

You are so strong!
I think about your family every day.
I dont envy what you are going through, but I do envy your strength and your positive attitude. You truly are an amazing person, an amazing mommy.
I pray that Charli keeps doing great and gets better and better every day. She is such a precious little girl. She's very lucky to have the two of you as parents.
All the best,
Brandy - July Mommy.