moments of truth

Tomorrow is the day we have been waiting for, for a long time. We have to be in Omaha by 8:00 tomorrow morning for her CT which is scheduled for 10:45. This test will show the progress of Charli's tumor on her spine.
I don't really expect to know anything before coming home tomorrow, but I would really like to! The less time we have to sit and wonder the better. I have been a wreck, and imagine it will only get worse with waiting.

Please say an extra prayer for us tomorrow. Up until now, we have been able to "ignore" everything that has happened and go on with life, kind of like it never happened. But now, although we are confident we will get good news...we are having to deal with it and think about it, and it is hard.

Also, please say a prayer for Keira. They are in the same boat we are. I pray for good news for their family.

My very good friend Linda sent us a beautiful flower arrangement today. I will show a few pictures. I was playing with my camera and took different shots, accenting the different colors. The flowers are a very pretty yellow, purple, blue, pink, and green. They were a nice pick-me-up after the day I had been having! Put a few things into perspective for me, I will admit!
ADD TO THE LIST: I thank God for good friends.

Tomorrow is the day we have been waiting for, for a long time. We have to be in Omaha by 8:00 tomorrow morning for her CT which is scheduled for 10:45. This test will show the progress of Charli's tumor on her spine.

I don't really expect to know anything before coming home tomorrow, but I would really like to! The less time we have to sit and wonder the better. I have been a wreck, and imagine it will only get worse with waiting.

Please say an extra prayer for us tomorrow. Up until now, we have been able to "ignore" everything that has happened and go on with life, kind of like it never happened. But now, although we are confident we will get good news...we are having to deal with it and think about it, and it is hard.

Also, please say a prayer for Keira. They are in the same boat we are. I pray for good news for their family.

My very good friend Linda sent us a beautiful flower arrangement today. I will show a few pictures. I was playing with my camera and took different shots, accenting the different colors. The flowers are a very pretty yellow, purple, blue, pink, and green. They were a nice pick-me-up after the day I had been having! Put a few things into perspective for me, I will admit!

ADD TO THE LIST: I thank God for good friends.

i'm sad...

Let me preface this with saying, I know I am emotional today.

I went to Burger King to grab a sandwich after work today (I guess this is what I get for fast food) and left in tears. Some of you know that Burger King has National Childhood Cancer Awareness month in July. You donate $1 to childhood cancer research and in return you get a scratch ticket, that gives you something each time in return. The smallest 'prize' is $1 off your meal, which pays for your ticket. Chad and I give all we have when we go there.

Today I watched 10+ people scowl when asked if they could donate $1 for this cause. It literally broke my heart. Some of these people had children or grandchildren with them even. And, even someone I know said no. I was so saddened that I bought tickets to cover those who said no...all the money I had at least. I just couldn't believe it.

I know that these people maybe bought 50 of them yesterday, or donate thousands to another cause, but it just hurt my feelings the way they said no.

Today is the last day of the promotion (I believe it is only through July)...and I want to go buy a hundred more tickets just to make up for those who have passed by the opportunity.

I know that everyone can't give to every cause...but $1 won't break you if you are going out to eat - and you would get the money back in product from the same place. I am so sad right now...I am rambling, I know.

many thanks...

I wanted to give a few special thank yous to some special people!

First we want to thank my Aunts, Joyce and Nelly Ann, for coming to Charli's party! Both of my mom's sisters were here for a few days and made Charli's party part of their stay. It was very special to have them share in her day!

Second, thank you to Aunt Amanda and Uncle Brad for taking over photo control for the day! Anytime I wanted to take a picture and couldn't find my camera it was because Amanda had it, and had already taken the picture! She was great! While Charli was eating her cake and Chad and I were wrapped up in the moment I looked up and saw that Uncle Brad was in charge of video. We haven't had time to watch the video - but we will be forever thankful for them taking charge of that duty. Also - thank you to anyone else who picked up my camera and snapped shots for us!

Lastly, I would like to thank someone - who I do not know her name. My mom and Aunts went to shop at a cute shop in Columbus - Wildwood Hollow, and my mom found a picture/stand that she wanted to buy for us and give us after Charli's appointment Wednesday. Somehow Charli's story came up, and the women told mom to take the picture and put it in a bag for mom to take home. "Faith is not believing God can, it is knowing He will" - I think everyone cried! Thank you for donating not only your merchandise, but your goodwill - these acts of kindness never cease to amaze us.

I am always aware of what I have to be thankful for, but in the past few days - I have been overwhelmed with thankfulness for things that I know I take for granted every single day. I am thankful that I have a car to drive to work, to get groceries, to take Charli to the dr, etc. I am thankful for my husband who wants everything to be neat, straight, and clean all the time - because that means it makes me be all of those things too. I am SO thankful for living close to my family, close enough that if I need my parents they can be here in less than 30 minutes (and they will come if EVER needed). I thank God that I know Charli will have a bed to sleep in, food in her tummy, and a roof over her head. I am thankful that I have done something right - to have been given Charli. I am thankful for having the worlds best daycare to take Charli to, when I can not be with her myself. When you truly sit down and think about all you have to be thankful for it is hard to not think your life is perfect - no matter what is not going your way.

I'm a little more emotional this week, as we are waiting for Charli's tests - which take place Wednesday. I think I could cry at the drop of a hat this week...and have a time or two! Please keep Charli in your thoughts and prayers as her body prepares for the tests Wednesday. Also - our friend Keira goes in for her scans on Wednesday too. Please keep her and her family in your prayers, as they go to the dr. in Texas. (you can follow her journey with the link to the right)

Thank you for still coming to check in on our family. I am amazed by how many people tell me they check this site to check in on Charli. The amount of people who love Charli warms my heart - this world is such a good place. If you ever doubt that, ask me for reasons to prove you wrong!!!!!!

Oh Happy Day :-)

First off, I need to say I know I will forget to mention somethings - so please forgive me. I will probably make more than one post today as I think of things to add!!

I will start off by saying that Charli's birthday was great, everything we hoped it would be.
Saturday morning Charli woke up with her daddy and went to go drive around and look at 'trucks' like they do every weekend! When they came home we sang happy birthday to her as she ate her breakfast! (she loved to be sang to) She took a great nap in the morning, and that gave us time to decorate and get ready for the BIG day! When she woke up we played some more, ate dinner, and put her back down for a nap early in the afternoon - so she would be ready to handle the day ahead of her! She woke up about 20 minutes after people got her, which worked out very well!

While Charli napped Chad filled up the over 130 balloons we had for her and I started to work on the meal. Once Chad got the balloons ready I distributed them around on the picnic tables and around our fence in the yard, etc. A little later - it started to sprinkle :-(. We were so disappointed. The balloons all fell flat and we felt like our plan for the day was shot. We brought the balloons that weren't tied down in from the rain, and they perked back up...so we thought the others were just weighed down with water, we were thankful for that!! Then, all of a sudden Chad and Charli saw a bundle of about 40 balloons float away. UGH - the group of balloons that Charli was going to release later that day took off on their own :-(. The day was not starting off too great! We went to pick up her cakes and I got more balloons - solved that problem! THEN - after people started to arrive we got a WONDERFUL call from our neighbors that said they had a canopy tent we could borrow to cover a few tables from the rain. PRAISE THE LORD, THANK YOU!!! So my dad and I went over to get it and several of the guys helped Chad put it up. That tent was a God send...it made the day so much better, because it did sprinkle a bit off and on.
Once everyone made it to the party we watched the video I talked about a few days ago. Everyone loved it - we were so happy to share it with everyone!

After that we got things ready and everyone ate! The rest of the afternoon was just visiting and playing! Charli got to release her bunch of balloons, the rained cleared up enough to pop the balloons back up - and the day was just great.

Charli liked her cake, the frosting was much brighter in her hair than it was on the cake! She opened her gifts, but would have rather been on the floor playing! She got great gifts, and has played with all of them - and enjoyed all of them! She made it through the entire event without missing a beat, she finally went to bed as people were getting ready to leave for the night.
Thank you to all of you who made the party. All of our family (who lives in state!!) made it, and it made our day! The guests included her great-grandparents, grandparents, aunts and uncles, cousins, and Lynn & Lonnie (daycare).

(these are not in the right order...sorry!!!)

birthday girl!!

me and my grand-parents...I was SO happy they came!

mommy & daddy decorated the front of the house!

I thought these were for me, good thing I can share!

my FUN toy from Grandma Deb, it turns into a car too!

I love my grandpas!!

and my grandmas!!

Grandma always has pretty jewelry on to play with!

Grandma & Grandpa Preister

Grandma & Grandpa Borg...they forgot to look at the camera!

say cheese...and hand over the cake!

the frosting was much brighter in my hair, then on the cake!!

getting ready to make a wish, and let the balloons go!

there goes a lot of wishes!

me with ALL my grandparents - so fun to have them all there at once!

daddy was busy all morning with the balloons!

this was my cake for everyone to eat!!

WOW...are these for me?!

lots of love from Lynn & Lonnie!

"#1" birthday cupcakes for my daycare party!

I got FUN blocks from my daycare party...daddy like them too!

everyone at my party wore their "Charli" shirts!

What a FUN party!!!

I was SO tired after my parties...I was OUT!

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE for all the gifts and cards for my 1st birthday! Mommy and Daddy thought it would be such a sad day for them, but my party was so much fun - they didn't even have time to be sad that their baby turned one!

Happy Birthday Charli!

I can't believe that Charli is going to be one year old tomorrow. Looking back at each month, I feel like I can remember each day that has passed. A part of me will always resent loosing so much of her infancy to her cancer, but a part of me will be thankful too. Because of her diagnosis we have treasured each moment together as a family, and "family" has been given a new definition. I know that we loved Charli before she became another NB kid, but nothing compares to your outlook on life once something like this happens. It is something I can't describe, no matter how hard I try.

When we all wake up tomorrow Charli will be starting a new chapter in her life, as a ONE YEAR OLD! I can only imagine all the wonderful things that life has in store for us in the coming year. Thank you for sharing in Charli's life thus far, what a journey it has been?!

Tomorrow is her big party, and I am so sadly-excited. We are going way over-the-top, and have no regrets about in. In our opinion, Charli has had entirely too many over-the-top BAD days, she deserves one over-the-top GOOD day - and that is what we hope to accomplish!!! I am sure I will post lots of pictures and stories about the party. I just don't want to stop writing right now, because I know my next post will be about my daughter's FIRST birthday party, where as the time gone?

before we had any idea who "Charli" was, and mommy was calling you "Cohen" the entire time!! So glad to have you here!

I will remember and treasure this EXACT moment forever, what a warm feeling to see your husband and daughter so peacefully

one month old, I was so excited this day - because it was the first day she acted like she enjoyed her swing! I remember timing each minute she stayed it, it was like 45 minutes (she napped!)

2 months...I loved this picture because it looks like a caption under her face "love bug", and she was, she loved to be held and loved!

3 months...she was the cutest pink panther you will EVER find! We took her to visit all her grandparents - and we enjoyed it. I wonder what she will be next year?!

4 months...this pink bunny from Aunt Jennifer was her snuggle buddy for so long, and the swing we borrowed from the McMeekin's - I wanted to make sure she had anything that would make her happy!

5 months...I LOVE this picture, she looks like such a big girl sitting with her gifts from Great Grandma & Grandpa Frauendorfer. We let her spend all morning in her PJ's, because it was Christmas!

6 months... I loved this outfit on her, so cute! This was after Colton's baptism.

7 months... ha ha...Charli used to LOVE to BAM-BAM on daddy's head! At this point Charli was acting sick, but we had NO idea.

8 months...ahhh, this was right after we found out about Charli's NB - that is about all I can remember about this day. That and this shirt used to belong to her cousin Ryen!

9 months...look at all that hair! I can't help but see pictures from here on out and relate them to her treatment, they make me sad and happy at the same time. She loved to discover the mirror!

10 months...the first time meeting a kitty! This was one of our fun/special weekend trips - it was right after her last treatment.

11 months! She is bigger than her stuffed animal from Aunt Kara and Uncle Randy from her first stay at Children's

(almost) 12 months...she loves my shoes, not sure why! She recently started putting them on her hands and driving them around the house! She is so grown up, I love her now more then ever - but I miss my baby!

She was sent to rescue me...

This is one of the several very touching songs selected for the video, I thought the words were very touching. I think that both Chad and I, as we look back to the past four months, are shocked at what we went through. At the time, we just did what we had to do. Now that we are choosing to and having to face the past it is harder on us now. It is hard to explain if you haven't been in these kind of shoes - but it is almost like you can't deal with it at the time, you just go on auto-pilot and then later go through all the emotions.

In My Daughter's Eyes Lyrics
Martina McBride

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero
I am strong and wise and I know no fear
But the truth is plain to see
She was sent to rescue me
I see who I wanna be
In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal
Darkness turns to light and the
world is at peace
This miracle God gave to me
gives me strength when I am weak
I find reason to believe
In my daughter's eyes

And when she wraps her hand
around my finger
Oh it puts a smile in my heart
Everything becomes a little clearer
I realize what life is all about

It's hangin' on when your heart
has had enough
It's giving more when you feel like giving up
I've seen the light
It's in my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes I can see the future
A reflection of who I am and what will be
Though she'll grow and someday leave
Maybe raise a family
When I'm gone I hope you see how happy she made me
For I'll be there
In my daughter's eyes

never a dull moment

So...the plan was to get ready for Charli's birthday party this afternoon. Well, that didn't happen! Our family spent most of the afternoon in the Columbus Hospital ER department. Ugh! Long story (fairly) short - Charli is running a temp. She woke up with one, but it seemed to go down on it's own fairly quickly. After lunch I got a call from daycare that she was warm again so I called Omaha to see how they wanted to handle it. As we had discussed earlier today they wanted to run blood work to make sure she doesn't have an infection from her port. We opted to do this in Columbus rather than go to Omaha for this. We won't have "official" reports for 48 hours but we should have a good idea sometime tomorrow. Preliminary reports from the ER doctor are that she is fine. Of course, when we got to the ER her temp was 98.1. When I took her from daycare Lynn just took her temp and it was 102.0. We came home from the hospital and she took a nap. When she woke up, it was with a fever again - I waited about an hour hoping it would go down on it's own but it didn't so I gave her some Tylenol. Oh-vay.

It was like a bad dream, we heard the EXACT same thing today that we heard four months ago when we were trying to get her diagnosis. "Looks like a virus", "lets give Tylenol or Motrin", "let's watch it for a few days", etc. It was a very crappy feeling to be in the same room hearing those same words :-(

Either way...I hope whatever it is that is causing her to get so warm goes away. We go back to Omaha Wednesday for Charli's scans...I was hoping to celebrate her birthday without any thought about the scans, probably wouldn't have happened either way.

Today we got a great gift from someone. A 15 minute video was made of various pictures and phrases taken from Charli's blog...it is beautiful. I am going to TRY to find a way to get it online so all of you can see it too, it is amazing. One of the songs that was selected to go with the music was our first dance at our wedding...ironic! There were so many touching pictures on the video and the music that was chosen was perfect. THANK YOU JENNIFER for making the gift for us, we feel very special!

history lesson!

In honor of Charli's upcoming birthday I thought it would be fun to see what I was writing about one year ago....


Monday, July 24, 2006
amazing thoughts :-)
okay....so Chad and I are sitting on the couch tonight and this is what comes out of his mouth...

"this past sunday we were carefree and just running around doing whatever we wanted to. next sunday we could be running around without a clue trying to learn how to change diapers!"

what a difference a week can make! I often am amazed by how much life changes in a year, thinking about how much life has changed in the past year for people around me. and now i am thinking, how much difference one day will make in our lives once this baby makes his/her appearance!

the closer we get to the big day the more scared I am getting! i am blessed to know so many great moms...how can i live up, how can i be one of them?!

Generally before I do something, I feel like I have had some sort of 'training'...but i can honestly say that i don't know what I will do when I realize this baby is ours for keeps - and someone isn't coming to pick him/her up after a few hours.

really...the next post I make on here, could have pictures of the baby...talk about making this whole pregnancy a reality :-)



wow...I remember typing that!! I had to laugh when I read "I am amazed how much life can change in a year..." I had NO idea what our life would bring this year. After this past year I can't help but be scared to see what next year brings - but excited all the same!!! After all, after this year - next year can only be better!!!!!!

I will post more updates about Charli later today!

need washing?

Grandma Preister took this picture!

1-2-3...cheese!

pretty flower!

playing in the grass while daddy works on his truck!

our pretty flowers, from the flower fairy

more playing with the camera!

more playing with the camera!

NEED WASHING?

A little girl had been shopping with her Mom in Target. She must have been 6 years old, this beautiful red haired, freckle faced image of innocence. It was pouring outside. The kind of rain that gushes over the top of rain gutters, so much in a hurry to hit the earth it has no time to flow down the spout. We all stood there under the awning and just inside the door of the Target.

We waited, some patiently, others irritated because nature messed up their hurried day. I am always mesmerized by rainfall. I got lost in the sound and sight of the heavens washing away the dirt and dust of the world. Memories of running, splashing as carefree as a child came pouring in as a welcome reprieve from the worries of my day.

The little voice was so sweet as it broke the hypnotic trance we were all caught in "Mom let's run through the rain," she said.

"What?” Mom asked.

"Let's run through the rain!” She repeated.

"No, honey. We'll wait until it slows down a bit," Mom replied.

This young child waited about another minute and repeated: "Mom, let's run through the rain,"

"We'll get soaked if we do," Mom said.

"No, we won't, Mom. That's not what you said this morning," the young girl said as she tugged at her Mom's arm.

This morning? When did I say we could run through the rain and not get wet?

"Don't you remember? When you were talking to Daddy about his cancer, you said, 'If God can get us through this, he can get us through anything!"

The entire crowd stopped dead silent. I swear you couldn't hear anything but the rain. We all stood silently. No one came or left in the next few minutes.

Mom paused and thought for a moment about what she would say. Now some would laugh it off and scold her for being silly. Some might even ignore what was said. But this was a moment of affirmation in a young child's life. A time when innocent trust can be nurtured so that it will bloom into faith.

"Honey, you are absolutely right. Let's run through the rain. If GOD lets us get wet, well, maybe we just needed washing," Mom said.

Then off they ran. We all stood watching, smiling, and laughing as they darted past the cars and yes, through the puddles. They held their shopping bags over their heads just in case. They got soaked. But they were followed by a few who screamed and laughed like children all the way to their cars.

And yes, I did. I ran. I got wet. I needed washing.

Circumstances or people can take away your material possessions, they can take away your money, and they can take away your health. But no one can ever take away your precious memories...So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities to make memories everyday. To everything, there is a season and a time to every purpose under heaven.

I HOPE YOU STILL TAKE THE TIME TO RUN THROUGH THE RAIN.